For the past four weeks now, I've been participating in a Bible Study of Song of Solomon. My friend Amy has been hosting this study at her home on Thursday nights and has been using the video teachings and study guide from Tommy Nelson. This exegetical study follows Solomon's relationship from attraction to dating and courtship, marriage and intimacy to resolving conflict, keeping romance alive, and committing to the end. We have covered the art of attraction, dating, courtship and marriage thus far. I have enjoyed dissecting this book of the Bible and translating the poetic style in which it was written. While I don't 100% agree with all that Tommy Nelson has said in regards to "being single/dating", I do agree with the foundation of the teaching and that ultimately GOD is/should be at the center of every relationship!
Being single has its challenges and I sometimes think that it's an added challenge being a Christ follower. It's easy to hand out sentiments and advice when your in a relationship. I believe Amy and I laughed out loud when Tommy said "Go where the good people are" meaning church, small groups, get involved, blah blah blah. Maybe that was once the case, but just because someone is in the building, does NOT make them a "good" person. I have experienced this first hand and sadly, sometimes I think you can find more decent men outside of the church than within. Finding a man that loves Jesus and longs to follow HIM, is a non-negotiable in my book. One of the questions on the application for "The Bachelor" asked you to describe what physical attributes you find attractive and what personality characteristics do you look for. My reply: I don't have a grocery list of physical attributes that I look for, I want someone that can openly communicate, be honest/trustworthy and have Integrity! The worldview looks at the outside and I look at what's on the inside. Don't misunderstand, I believe that physical attraction and physical chemistry is a must-have in a relationship...it's just one of many things that I think are needed to make a relationship successful.
If I wanted to get married for the sake of being married, I could be married. But my life is not my own (although mostly I selfishly act as it is) and I have chosen to not settle for anything less that HIS best. SO I find myself 34 years old and single. And as I continue to add life experience and settle into my own preferences, it feels that I'm only stacking the cards more against me. I don't know what the future holds. Maybe I'll be blessed enough to have someone to walk through life with, maybe I'll walk alone. All I can do is continue to put one foot in front of the other walking in faith and keep my HOPE safe and secure in His Hands!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
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3 comments:
Good post! The older we get, the wiser we get. At least most of us.
And the wiser we get, the more selective we become in our romantic interests (and in many other areas of our lives).
So naturally our choices become more limited, BUT the choices we DO make are richer, stronger, and deeper because we have a greater self-awareness and more life experience to draw from when making decisions.
And I find that comforting. :)
The "good" people are not always where you expect them to be.
Well said Cathryn!!
I look at the choices I 'would' have made at the age of 18 or 25 - I'm a completely different person. If I had found someone that was 'perfect' for me then - I'm not so sure that they would still be perfect.
"He's still working on me...to make me what I outta be..."
I honestly believe that time, experience, wisdom and self-awareness prepare you for whatever is next.
And yes, it's comforting and encouraging. I'm thankful that I didn't just get married to not be single.
Love ya! The perfect man for you is out there - and your marriage will be amazing! I have no doubts about that!
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